A steady stream of almost right

Yesterday, while taking part in the Lindt/Action for Children Big Easter Egg Hunt in Birmingham, I was approached - at separate times - by two men, with a view to "chatting me up."

Being approachable to the opposite sex is a vibration I have been nurturing, so was friendly and chatted with them amicably, even though neither were what I want, and definitely not a match to my vortex man.

Instead of getting annoyed that I had attracted the wrong guys, I accepted it, practiced being nice and having boundaries, and let go of the experience.

When I got home, I had people over for a pancake party, so didn't have time to process the day. And had lots of fun sharing time with my family and friends.

Later that evening, once everyone had left, and the house was back to normal, in my daily bedtime writing, I acknowledged the traits in each dude that were on track. And there were quite a few. So, I felt pleased about it, and gave thanks, rather than focusing on what I didn't want, and therefore aligning more with what is not wanted.

Earlier today, while trimming my hair I listened to a few Abraham sessions which confirmed that I did exactly the right thing.

I don't need to worry about who I attract because:
A: Now that I know I can say "No" to men, I feel safe engaging when Im not interested in them
B: It showed me that I have been focusing on things I don't want in a partner. Once I stop paying attention to those, I will become a deliberate manifester by placing my attention on what I do want.

Even though I rarely feel it at the time, I am getting a deeper understanding of just how Law of Attraction serves us. Everything is a win-win situation.

When Im observing what I don't want, Im vibrationally asking for what I do want, and Source - the bigger part of me - immediately answers and becomes what I've asked for. As soon as I redirect my focus away from what I don't want (stop beating the drum) and begin allowing, the things that Source has always been flowing to me, begin to manifest into physical reality.

Win win.

As jerry used to say "we're gently molding things into place."

Videos that helped me today:

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=eaMKIsVl7jI&feature=related

What the grid is
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3TIcBSlbw7k&feature=related

Love notes to Esther
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WpLrtpfUbUw&feature=related

Dare advert changed my life
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=sb2YOg_dkQM&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dsb2YOg_dkQM

Cacao Sharemony: Sunday 17th February 2013

Travelling to London on the morning of Rebekah Shaman's first Cacao Ceremony, my mind was being bombarded with doubts. I spent the beginning of the journey wondering if it would be worth my effort and time. My inner child atypically responding to the unknown with fear.

Cacao.

Chocolate.

People eat it all day, every day.

How exactly was it going to work on my heart chakra?

Rebekah Shaman spent "the last  two weeks of her journey with a cacao shaman in Guatamala and learnt the amazing healing properties of cacao. According to the Mayans it was the food of the gods and a potent nectar. (She) believes cacao is the perfect medicine for the new Baktun, as it puts us in touch directly with the heart chakra in a unique, loving and magical way. It opens the doors to our souls so that we can explore our hidden depths without purging, leaving our bodies or visioning. (She) saw some powerful healing in Guatamala and felt called to offer the process in London."

The ego, desperately attempting to fertilize seeds of doubt, questioning, worrying, over-analyzing. Second guessing the guidance I had received to partake in the ceremony.

My inner child, Princess 'Seyi, responds to life and adventure with an obsessive need to control and know every last detail of what is going to happen, when, how, and why. She worries when I don't have the answers to every possible scenario. This catastrophe thinking is mostly triggered when doing something new. Particularly when it involves working on my emotional well-being.

Even though I had thoroughly read the extensive information about the healing properties of Cacao, that Rebekah had emailed to all participants, I couldn't quell the cynical thinking.

Thankfully I had truth on my side, and listening to Abraham for the hour and a half journey from Birmingham to London helped immensely, and I arrived feeling open minded and excited for what the day would hold.

I had purposely gotten an early train, so I would have time to ground myself before the ceremony. I appreciate the well mapped, accurate transport infrastructure in London, and made my way from Marylebone to Battersea Park with ease. Upon arrival at Battersea Park station, the friendly assistant on duty set me in the right direction for the park.

Just over 3 hours after leaving my house that morning,I found myself basking in the Sunday midday sun. The shimmering lake before me. A cup of hot water to hand.

Never having had cause to visit that part of London, I was pleased to find myself observing a cacophony of smiling, abundant-looking people, out for a stroll with dogs, kids, friends and partners.

Sights I would never have been able to connect with before I got into recovery. There was no way I could have sat alone on a park bench sober. I would have been either too stoned to experience the simple Joys around me. Or wishing I were stoned if I wasn't, and therefore not able to connect with what was going on. I could never have gone and sat on a bench on my own and happily watched the world pootle on by. I would have been consumed with a feeling of lack and emptiness.

This reminder of how awesome my life now is, was worth the price of my ticket to London, the ceremony hadn't even officially begun.

By the time my friend arrived at Rosary Gate, I was ready. My sensibility had been tickled by the ridiculous Moor Hen mating antics on the lake: chest-bumps galore. My inner child soothed, watching a little girl scootering around her dad and sister.

Using Google maps on my Samsung phone, we found what we thought was the building. Once there, however, we were unsure where to go next (I had forgotten Rebekah had laid a trail of balloons to show the way to the room). We must have been standing there looking slightly confused, because a man pointed out the balloon trail without us saying why we were there.

Rebekah approached me, greeting me with a big hug, and I immediately "recognized" her, never having seen her before. I knew I knew her on a spirit level.

Sharing the experience with my friend, and one-time lover, was interesting. Perfect given where Im at with relationship stuff. I felt I finally got closure on the relationship, and accepted him as nothing but a soul-mate-friend.

During the first meditation we did, after drinking the pure hot Cacao, I experienced massive healing of my Solar Plexus Chakra, therefore my heart. I read ages ago that one of the most effective ways to heal the Heart Chakra is to work on the surrounding Chakras. Perfect.

During the following meditation,  when we were guided to ask the Cacao for guidance, I received what I had been feeling for a while, that I am meant to use the Cacao in my workshops. Particularly when working with young people and vulnerable adults.

Rebekah Shaman held the space of the Cacao Ceremony with love and presence. It was a joy to observe such an ego free allowing of everyone to share and contribute to the experience, what she calls a "Sharemony". 

Afterwards, joined by one of the women from the ceremony, I went to the amazing Peace Pagoda in the park. It was awesome to stand beside the huge golden depictions of Buddhas life, and gently process that days experience with a new friend; breathing, laughing and talking deeply. A perfect ending to a perfect day. 

I write this part a couple of weeks later:
Over the following weeks, the healing continued. I have become more accepting of my shadow side, and am not beating myself half as much as usual. This is something that is suggested as one of the outcomes of healing with Cacao. Something I knew I really needed. 

There are moments when I can feel a warm circle around my heart, and others when my Solar Plexus heats up so much I can feel the warmth with my hand. Moments when it feels like my heart is so full of love it could explode.

I highly recommend attending a Cacao Sharemony with Rebekah Shaman. I am eager to go again soon.

Rock on Rebekah!

Bloxwhich Artist Date

Julia Cameron is a major contributor to the direction my life has taken. Who knows where I would be without her.

In September 2008 I went to Wales with some friends to celebrate one of their birthday. One of the gifts she received was a book called the Artists Way, written by Julia Cameron. I didn't get a chance to look at it properly at the time, but I recall being extremely drawn to it, although Id never even heard of it before.

During the energy healing foundation course I did starting January 2009, I made some lovely friends, and mentioned the book in a conversation. That year, my birthday landed on a weekend when we would all be gathered for that months training session.

I had no expectation of receiving anything, although my new friends were so lovely and generous, and one of the gifts I received was the Artists Way. I was so happy.

The Artists Way is a 12 week programme devised by Julia Cameron to help people reconnect with their creativity. It has various tasks to be done over the duration of the programme, which I found fairly challenging at times. One of which was to take myself out on a date once a week.

After a few weeks, my Artists Dates became very precious to me. And would be random and varied in activity. I continued going on them for a long time (after completing the programme a couple of times through.)

I would try to listen to my inner guidance, telling me where to go and what to do on these "dates." And I would do my best to do it. When I listen to my guidance I have fun, or random experiences, but mostly fun.

One time I was in London visiting friends, and had a free day before meeting a friend in the evening to go to a five rhythms dance. I was guided to get off the tube at Whitehall and just walk. Which I did. And ended up at Brick Lane.

I went into some music studios and had lunch at a cafe with benches outside. It was hot and I looked good. I flirted a little with some dudes I was sharing the table with. It was fun. Random.

I haven't been on a random adventure or Artist Date for a long time. (Definitely a practice that needs to come back). This morning I got on the bus and asked for an N-bus daysaver, but the bus driver gave me a daytripper.

The daysaver lets you on any bus all day long, but the daytripper lets you on any bus and train, in the Midlands network, all day.

My mind went ding ding ding! Artist Date.

I was exhausted after a sleepless night, but was determined to take advantage of this opportunity. I had lunch, packed a flask and some snacks, and headed for the train station.

I stopped off at the Network information office to get a map of the Network I could use the ticket on, and a dude came in to purchase the same ticket as me. I thought: "oooh, I'll follow him and see where he goes." However, I got to the station barriers and lost my bottle. Instead I got on the first train I could use the ticket on.
It was a train to Rugeley Trent Valley. Which went via Walsall.

I stayed on to the last stop within the Network, which was Bloxwhich North, got off and with great anticipation went for a look around.

It was raining and freezing cold. There was nothing much to see, apart from a lot of big houses. i got to the top of the train bridge, and saw the BEST slide ever in the garden adjacent to the train station.

Not the greatest pics (still cant figure out how to get my pics right way up when I post them on here), but you can just about make out the huge out stretched arms of the tree slide, you come out of its mouth. I want one.

I walked down the road a bit, and got bored looking at nothing but big, detached houses. It looks like quite an affluent area, with big new build houses. Not to my taste, but I didn't go far thanks to the rain and cold.

While waiting for the train back to New Street Station, I listened to a few awesome Abraham sessions. One of which touched me deeply, and helped me understand the anxiety id been experiencing for a while.

In the session Abraham talked about following the fun to find out your life path and what career you're meant to be doing.

So for the next 30 days I am going to focus on the dance. I am going to look for the subtle magic in every day. I am going to continue developing the basic workshops, as well as thinking about more complex ones, that include dance.

And I am going to truly step into the dancing shoes of my True 'Seyi. The pain and anxiety I have been feeling is that I've been continuing to practice denying what I really want.

I don't have to do that anymore. I can follow my heart. I am ready to follow my passion. I am ready to follow my dreams. The heart-song of my inner child. Its not about the money, its about the heart. And my heart wants to DANCE.

That is what it means to make how I feel the most important thing to me.

That is where my happiness resides. In my heart.

Ever since having an initial meeting about developing codependency awareness workshops, I have been experiencing some resistance and  discomfort. I felt anxious and agitated about something, I couldn't put my finger on what it was about.

I thought maybe Im not meant to go ahead with the workshops. Yet that didn't sit well in my heart.

As I listened to the session about being afraid to dream, and how important my childhood dreams still are. Then listening to the one about following your fun and passion to understand your what direction to take your career, something in my heart shifted.

When I got home from my random adventure, during my Just Dance session, I began to cry. My inner child broke through, and told me she is upset because I haven't acknowledged her desire to be a dancer in my Focus sessions, or even just daydreaming. That's what the anxiety and upset was all about. I wasn't listening to Princess 'Seyi.

As a child, I dreamed as big as I do now. One of my main dreams was always to be a dancer and performer. I didn't want to act. I have no acting skills. Im too honest and straight forward for that, but I loved performing. I relished every opportunity to get  on stage, and be centre of attention.

More than that though, I loved pleasing people by sharing my talents with them. I was always a beautiful dancer.

Connecting with her at this juncture in my life journey, it seems that these dreams are still as real for me as they ever were.

one of the reasons I LOVE giving talks. I thrive with every opportunity to share my talents, I love seeing people enjoy what I do.

For a few days I have been recognising that the one of the reasons Im developing certain workshops is because I know I have a market, and I will make money delivering them.

Money isn't enough of a reason to do anything anymore. Another reason I want to do them is because I am flabbergasted by the lack of awareness on the subject of codependency, in many sectors. Particularly the addiction recovery sector. I want to help people become aware of it, so they can utilise the knowledge to help themselves and others.

Most people in the "caring" industry - teachers, nurses, doctors, counsellors, etc - will have codependent tendencies. In fact everyone does. But to what severity and how it affects your ability to be your true self is the key.

I feel passionate about helping people in pain, reconnect with themselves in fun and interesting ways.

That being said, the basic codependency awareness workshops won't have an opportunity to include dancing.

I want to dance. That is my joy. That is my fun. And that is what has been my hearts desire since as long as I can remember.

Jason Mraz is a beautiful artist, and has contributed to the specifics of my vortex man big time.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=relmfu&v=7xaBgcKofOY

Abraham Hicks 30 Day Challenge Summary

just over a month ago, on January 4th, I listened to an Abraham Hicks video on YouTube, about how to really commit to being a deliberate manifestor by removing your attention from reality, and spending 30 days focusing into your vortex of creation.

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=37LgfWscfXU

Since I am an avid Abrahamster, I thought it sounded like a great idea, and would be an interesting experiment. I assumed I would completely transform my life during those 30 days.

Commencing on the 5th of January, I was guided to blog my progress.

It wasn't called a challenge for no reason, it was hard. I didn't think it would be quite so tough to be honest. When Abraham says that life shows you what you need to work on, they are not joking!

I have learnt so much about myself, my thought processes, and beliefs over the last 30 days, that I could spend the next 30 years working on them if I didn't know how easy it Is to move up the emotional scale just a little bit every day. That's one of the things I love about Abraham's teachings. It isn't possible to get from depressed to joy in one step, and they acknowledge that. What is important is to just find relief and not wallow in the low vibration emotions for too long. That is one of the many important messages that was missing from 'The Secret'. 
I followed the instructions on the video as best I could, but found it difficult to remove my attention from reality in an authentic way. I found that I was taking my attention off it, but unconsciously I was still worrying about things. or beating myself up.

Each week presented a fresh vibrational issue requiring immediate raising vibration attention. And each issue, I worked through successfully combining the tools and processes offered in the book Ask And It Is Given with EFT, and angels, and Louise Hay affirmations, and outreach calls. And lots of writing to get clear on what I was feeling and where I wanted to place my focus instead. 
During the challenge I used up  almost four notepads: 
° Writing Positive Aspects - mine, my son, my nephew, family of origin, my home etc
° Documenting the evidence of support from my angels of the Universe
° Manifestations
° Documenting evidence that what I have been wanting is on the way
° Finding Better Feeling Thoughts
° Writing about what I was experiencing

It has been a very intense and interesting experience.

Main things I learnt about myself:
°I beat myself up a lot -perfectionsm
°When I beat myself up my skin gets bad
°When Im nice to myself my skin glows
°When I treat myself like a precious object it makes me strong (paraphrased from Julia Cameron's Artists Way)
°I easily focus my body back into alignment with my natural state of Well-Being
°I have a better relationship with my vortex body than my vortex money
°My inner child is very afraid of me succeeding and attaining a level of financial security and freedom - uncomfortable because it is unknown
°I push and resist "what is" which creates resistance in my relationship with my vortex
°I still find it hard identifying what Im feeling and saying to myself unconsciously - especially when my inner child has been triggered

One of the several big things I learnt about myself is that I am amazing, that I am worthy and that I am a very powerful manifester. At one point I was literally manifesting things, into physical reality, within hours of thinking about them.

You can see my progress in previous posts.

I admit there was some disappointment today, (which is an up stream comment I know, but that's where I was at today). I had expected to come out the other end a multi millionaire, with the career of my dreams, and possibly a husband in tow. However, what I got was confirmation that although its all on the way. And Im SO on the right track. I have just a bit more vibrational clearing to do before Im aligned and ready to receive the things I've placed in my vortex over the duration of this, and many previous treasure hunts.
After listening to yet another brilliant Abraham session, I realised today that that's ok. There's no rush. My vortex ain't going anywhere. I can take my time, and be very loving and gentle with myself about this process of change. Because when I beat myself up, I move upstream. When I get into old behaviours and stories, I move upstream.

I finally understand how important it is to listen to my NGS is very important, and that there is truly NOTHING more important than that I actively seek ways to relieve the resistance Im feeling in each moment.

I now have a list of which tools  work for me, and Im gunna use them.

I also understand that I can never get it wrong. That no matter what state Im in, Im always in the right place. When Im noticing contrast, and really focusing on the reality of what I don't want, I am powerfully sending more pockets of what I do want into my vortex. And when I release the resistance, and start moving up the emotional scale towards my vortex, I am in a state of allowing what I want to manifest into my present reality. This Law of Attraction business is win win really when you think about it.

Now that I get the theory, which I really do. I am ready to be a physical example for those around me. Not to show them "oooh look at me, look at what I can do." But to show them the possibilities of allowing myself to be All that I have become in my vortex.

My True 'Seyi. The treasure I have been seeking all of my life. 

I am exactly where I am meant to be. And I am eager and excited for what is on the way.

The following are the processes I used during the 30 day challenge (the ones I have written with capital letters at the beginning of each word in the sentence are from Ask And It Is Given):
° Moving Up The Emotional Scale using writing - Finding A Better Feeling Thought 
° Forking
° Listening to Abraham Hicks on YouTube a LOT
° Creating beautiful art
° Sharing how I was feeling with friends
° Crying a LOT - there's massive relief in crying particularly from anger and frustration
° Dancing
° Singing
° Prosperity Game - brilliant at first until I ran out of things I wanted to buy (need to work on my mid range spending imagination - the extreme amounts are easy, but where Im at at the moment - £20,000's - are hard work cos I've bought most everything I want and need)
° Virtual Reality Game
° Scripting
° Laughing
° Napping
° EFT (emotional freedom technique)
°Meditation

I did my best to complete this challenge how Abraham laid it out in the audio, but the way I managed was right for me.

I was sent a curve ball somewhere in the middle of the challenge, which almost took me out of the game, but I pulled through, and have come out the other end vibrating at a higher rate than I have for a long time. Probably since I was a young girl.  I have been fine tuned to a closer vibrational frequency to my True 'Seyi.

WHAT'S NEXT? You might wonder. Well, Im going to continue practicing focusing on where Im heading, rather than on what is old news - current reality. And Im going to work, every day, on releasing resistance to my full alignment.

What I have been looking for all my life is True 'Seyi. I am the treasure, and the little pieces of me I gather along the hunt, are the prize.

I will be gentle and loving with myself, and really nurture Princess 'Seyi. Acknowledging all emotions, good and bad, so we can move up The Emotional Scale together.

To get current, I awoke this morning feeling anxious about money. And although id done my best to feel good before I went out to do the weekly food shop, I still felt full of anxiety. Before I left out I said a little prayer, and thanked my angels for going ahead of me and helping me.

On my walk up the road, I kept seeing a taxi drive past with 222 on. As you may know by now, my angels talk to me a lot through  numbers, and I use Doreen Virtue's Angel number directory on Spiritlibrary site to explain or confirm their meanings.

I got home from shopping feeling tense and agitated. I had a good cry and rant, working my way up the emotional scale by getting angry and blaming someone else for how bad I feel about money, and my financial situation.

Eventually I calmed down and checked out the Angel number meaning, and felt very reassured and encouraged. Everything is perfect as it is, and everything is unfolding in perfect timing. Not my timing, perfect timing. Which is perfect.

"222: Have faith. Everything’s going to be all right. Don’t worry about anything, as this situation is resolving itself beautifully for everyone involved."

I cant get this wrong, and I never get it done. So I might as well enjoy the treasure hunt.

Thanks Abraham.

Some videos that have helped today:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=related&v=VujIRyDdl10

http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=related&v=r-xlakKvBrM

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zkbTp3-zBGg

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kmNqFeSjDAo&feature=relmfu

Abraham 30 Day Challenge: Day Thirty

The chapter title for today is:
RELIEF

This has probably been the most difficult and rewarding day of the whole challenge.

Last night as I was falling asleep, I had a meeting with archangel Nathaniel, and received guidance to run the workshop I was invited to run in London on the 17th Feb, instead of attending the Cacao Ceremony as planned - on the same day, same time.

The guidance was very clear, and the visit with AA Nathaniel was good. He gave me clear instructions on what to do as part of the workshop, and which meditations to use, etc.

This morning I decided that I definitely didn't want to do as AA Nathaniel had suggested, even though in the Charles Virtue meditation I did yesterday I invited AA Nathaniel to direct me on my path. I decided that I absolutely must attend the Cacao Ceremony.

All day I've been battling myself about this. I felt like I was going nuts, as I always do when ignoring my guidance.

By early afternoon I felt like crawling out of my skin. I needed to move after being still for almost three days straight, so went for a walk around my park.

It was lovely, mild weather. Blue sky, a few puffy clouds. A perfect spring afternoon. I made a beeline for the snowdrop grotto, and took pics of the little white-capped pilgrims, spreading eagerly across the ground. I stood for a while soaking up the fresh spring energy around me.

Not caring what the women playing tennis in the court beside me were thinking, I stared aimlessly at the delicate white flowers surrounding my feet. I picked my way cautiously through the blossoming beauties, so I wouldn't hurt any of them with my rainbow snowboots.

As I left the park, I asked for a clear sign about what I should do on the 17th, and at that exact moment my friend, who I had called and left an answer machine message with a few days ago, to see if he fancied coming to the ceremony, returned my call.

Im still not sure what to do.

The walk in the park put me en route to vortex alignment. I went home and did a session on Just Dance (another thing I've not done for a few days), and felt even better.

Then I listened to ego, and started sorting the bills and bank papers into their new filing system. Big mistake. Took me swiftly into fear mode. Argh.

I had thought id get the same sense of satisfaction I had achieved when sorting my diaries and notebooks the other day. But unfortunately it had the opposite effect, and my mood plummeted back to darkness.

I kept reminding myself that because of the work I've been doing, my vibration is much higher, therefore I will be more aware of the subtle deviations in my relationship with my Source.

I have done well to validate myself, even through the low vibration mood. I kept up a good stream of reassurance that, although I didn't particularly believe it, it stopped me from really indulging in perfectionsm and allowing the critic free reign.

Fortunately I didn't wallow in the mire and wrote some lists about how I would like to be feeling, then meditated for a while. Something I've not done much of since starting this challenge.

In one of the Abraham audios, they say that we should only meditate for 15 mins a day, that we should be living life rather than spending ages meditating. Since I've been doing the Getting Into The Vortex meditation every morning, I haven't done any during the day. That has been another error of mine. Silent meditation is important for my connection with my angels, and ability (and willingness) to hear them.

Coming to the end of the 15 mins silent meditation, I received two numbers; 333 and 777. I receive a lot of messages via numbers, so immediately looked them up on Doreen Virtue's http://spiritlibrary.com/doreen-virtue/angel-numbers.

333: The Ascended Masters are near you, desiring you to know that you have their help, love and companionship. Call upon the Ascended Masters often, especially when you see the number 3 patterns around you. Some of the more famous Ascended Masters include: Jesus, Moses, Mary, Quan Yin and Yogananda.

777: The angels applaud you… “congratulations, you’re on a roll! Keep up the good work and know your wish is coming true.” This is an extremely positive sign and you should also expect more miracles to occur.

Needless to say, these were a very encouraging messages, and my mood began to lift again.

I committed the rest of the day to raising my vibration, and it has been SO worth it! Right now I feel awesome.

To achieve the raise in my vibration, I did the following:
Went for a walk in the park.
Got honest, and talked about not wanting to follow the guidance I received, which helped me laugh about it, and let go of the resistance.
Messaged some friends and asked how THEY were feeling. (distracted myself from my head).
Danced.
Made lists of key words and emotions I would like to feel instead.
Did some art.
Listened to lots of Abe.
Listened to lots of Jason Mraz.
Did some Positive Aspects writing.
Breathed deeply.
Drank plenty of water.
Asked the angels of the Universe for help getting closer to the proximity of my vortex.
Meditated.

Finally, I had a shower and relaxed. As Abraham says, the best part of being in the Vortex, is the part where you get in, and realise you're there. It is true deliciousness.

In fact I give thanks for every moment that I wallowed in misalignment today, because they helped me truly appreciate that deliciousness even more.

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?feature=related&v=Y5hubd-efj0

Contrast is perfect, for without it, I wouldn't know I was experiencing one thing as opposed to another. I wouldn't know to value anything, because it would all be much of a muchness. THAT is why Im here. To experience contrast and use it as the bouncing off place for my deliberate creating.

Jason Mraz in his Fabulouso song Life Is Wonderful expresses these sentiments eloquently this in this video:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kmNqFeSjDAo

Key words that will be my focus moving forward:
Fun
Fun
Fun
Transformation
Faith
Hope
Optimism
Acceptance
Abundance
Friends
Happiness
Laughter

Now that this 30 day challenge is complete; extremely intense and successful as it has been.

What next?

A few of the Abe and Jason Mraz videos that helped me get out of the funk today:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MhYhUKyPW9M&feature=related

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=75OyDahkgS4&feature=relmfu

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Sji4p5SpBjw

My Nasal Guidance System (NGS)

My Nasal Guidance System (NGS)  is something I manifested early on my journey to find happiness. Its like the SatNav or GPS in your car. A bespoke-in-built-system, constantly telling me my vibrational relationship with the Treasure: my True 'Seyi (my True Self).

The system is very simple and precise, as are all good navigation systems. And yet, I often have difficulty understanding what its telling me. Even more often than that, I think I know the best way to go, and completely ignore it. A bit like someone driving somewhere they've never been before, taking all the wrong turns, the SatNav's going nuts repeatedly asking them to take the next available u-turn, and they stubbornly get more lost.

Instead of that annoying voice in my head, my NGS is an irritating drip in my nose. Starting off with a subtle sniffle, the blockage increases in severity depending on how important the guidance is that Im ignoring/blocking, or how negative the thinking is that Im insisting on indulging in.

The sooner I take notice, the easier it is to get back into alignment. Sometimes I just cant, or don't want to hear my guidance. Sometimes I think Im going to be asked to do something I don't want to, or be guided away from doing something that I have got planned. That's when the frustration kicks in. The more frustrated I get, the further out of alignment I am.

This is old codependent behaviour, based on thinking I need to be in control of my life. Thinking I know best, and ego thinking its my higher power. Not trusting that I have a Higher Power Who is always lovingly taking care of me. Not trusting that Source has ALWAYS got my back.

In December 2007, having recently been introduced to The Secret and the teachings of Abraham, I started looking at the contents of my thoughts. Finding them chronically and predominantly negative, I asked the Universe for clear indicators of when I was lost in thought. I didn't specify how that should present itself. A friend of mine at the time did the same, and a vehicle with a siren blasting would drive past to wake her out of her negative revelry. 

After a time, I noticed I was getting colds more frequently than usual. With extensive observation, I realised that anytime I wasn't aware, my nose would get blocked up. As soon as I focused on what I was thinking, the blockage would clear.

Some time later, when Id stopped smoking weed, my mind began clearing, and I started actively working with my angels. I began receiving guidance from them. This guidance comes to me in many ways, predominantly as gentle thoughts and knowingness. I am extremely clairesentient, and when I don't acknowledge my emotions, my body talks to me through various aches and pains. Louise Hay's book, You Can Heal Your Life is a good friend of mine.  
It soon became apparent that not only would my nose run if I was thinking negatively, but also if I wasn't listening to my guidance.

Although it is a useful system, I find it frustrating. I still struggle accepting it. Even though I asked for it!

I get guidance on every aspect of my day to day life, from what to wear, to where to go and who to talk to. Even what to say.

A Course In Miracles prayer:
"What would You have me do? Where would You have me go? What would You have me say? And to whom?"

That is my prayer since studying the Course, and I always receive the answers. I don't always like them, and often don't want to follow the guidance, but I always receive the answers.

Every so often I go through a period of fine tuning, when my NGS is tuned into closer alignment with True 'Seyi. I usually get ill leading up to the tuning. I struggle so much, and resist my NGS, always thinking I should be doing something. My angels have to stop me in my tracks, so I can go through these changes in a restful state.

I hear my guidance best when I am still.

Im undergoing some fine tuning at the moment. And have been ill for a few days. Its very uncomfortable, however, I am truly thankful for it, because its what I asked for.

I am being fine tuned into closer alignment with True 'Seyi (my True Self). I want to be aligned with True 'Seyi. I want that more than anything else.

When I think thoughts that are even subtly out of whack with what True 'Seyi would think, I receive an immediate notification.
Its like a town crier saying:
Listen
Listen
Listen
Change your thinking. You are a powerful manifestor. You are attracting things that are filling in grids you won't want.
If you think this nose blockage is annoying, just think how annoyed you'll be when you manifest stuff you don't like. 

The more important the guidance, or the further away my thoughts are from what True 'Seyi would think, the more persistent the discomfort and runny my nose gets.

At first, when I still believed in external "evil" things being able to affect me, I thought I was constantly under "spiritual attack." Or I thought it was punishment.

Now that I am understanding what its about, and what to do about it, I am committing to feeling appreciation for such a clear and accurate guidance system. One that is so persistent that I have to take notice. If I don't, I get ill. Not because something external is making me ill, but because the chronic ignoring of emotions creates energy blocks. And that creates physical dis-ease.

I am looking forward to discussing this with Abraham when I get in the Hot Seat.

"Nothing is more important than that I feel good right now." - Abe

In order to release the blockage I sit still and ask for clarity. Sometimes I need to do some affirmations to change the negative thinking, sometimes I just breathe and have a drink of water. Im still learning what to do, and how to read my NGS.

With each fine tuning it changes, so I am going to do it differently this time and sit with my angels tomorrow. Im going to ask them to teach me how to use it properly and what to do.

I listened to a brilliant Charles Virtue session today, and it has reminded me that I have so much help out there, that I need to use to make my life easier and flow as it should.

I give thanks for, and appreciate my NGS and would love to hear about how you are guided and how you know when you're not listening. And more importantly, how you know when you are xxx

Clearing Clutter For Clarity

One of the Abraham processes in Ask And It Is Given, called Clearing Clutter For Clarity, is to buy a load of boxes, and sort out everything in your house. 

I have a very clear and clutter free home, having gotten rid of most un-necessary things when I was homeless a few years ago. I enjoy the freedom of living in a space with minimal items.

I've never felt like I needed to use this process in this house. Apart from one area. da da duunnn: the upstairs cupboard.

Having kept diaries and journals all of my life, they are some of the few items I held onto during these transformation years. I have accumulated i good number of them. I have been documenting the adventures I've had on this happiness treasure hunt; often with explicit detail, in preparation for writing my books.

I also have novels, and self-help books and children's books that I've read. And guess where they've all been shoved.

That's right. The upstairs cupboard.

I love Homebargains (a shop on the high st that sells all sorts of homely items, for very reasonable prices - hence the apt name) because it always has exactly what I need. And a lot of the items it offers are really rather pretty.

Just before Christmas I was delighted to discover that they stocked a set of two-in-a-pack boxes for just £2.49. One set is a dark pink with multi -coloured paisley patterning and the other is mostly blue with pretty roses, and blossoms and a bird cage on them. I have been buying a two-pack every now and then, and putting them aside.

Last week I bought the final amount of packs I would need, and yesterday emptied out the cupboard and sorted all the papers, diaries and notepads into dated and labelled boxes.

Knowing exactly where my papers and notebooks are for each year is contentfully comforting. 

While writing about this process, I  realised that since getting this blockage, I have been praying for clarity. I didn't know that by doing this process yesterday I was clearing physical clutter for clarity.
Today, I have felt much better. There has been a definite improvement from how I felt yesterday.

As with all Abraham processes, they always hit the vibrational spots. They go where the essence of the need can be met, rather than the obvious need.

Thanks for another gudun Abe.

Abraham 30 Day Challenge: Day Twenty Eight

With only 3 days of this challenge left, I am going to document my progress as fully as possible, And share it with you. I write how I think, and talk, so if my writing jumps to different places: welcome to my mind. 

If today were a chapter in my book, it would be entitled: LEARNING TO ACCEPT.

When I woke up on Tuesday morning, the first thought I had created massive resistance, which put my NGS into over drive. The thought was so unconscious, I still havent figured out what it was.

That's not entirely true. My friend sent me a link to the Archangel Nathaniel find your life purpose meditation, which I had listened to the night before. In the morning I think I got some guidance about the workshops Im developing that I didn't like, so I blocked it. And don't want to hear it or acknowledge it.

Ever since, I have been SO irritated with myself for not wanting to know the guidance I am (still) resisting, and the resistance has been SO persistent, that I have manifested a physical illness. I am now "out of whack," with a blocked, runny nose, and there are achey parts of my body.

According to Louise Hay, sinus issues indicate irritation with someone close. Accurate as always, as I have been very irritated with myself. Cant get much closer than that!

One positive outcome of this illness, is that I have become aware of how much I push against manifestations I dislike. Rather than authenticly accepting how Im feeling, I still have a codependent compulsion to deny what Im feeling and push it away. That is not how to work the Abraham way.
Abraham suggests we identify our emotions, accept them; and using the games and processes on offer, move up the emotional scale into alignment with our True Self.

For the 28 days of this challenge so far I have been learning how to accept my emotions, and to be easy with myself until I get the hang of it.  

For the last couple of days of this challenge I will be staying in my house, being still. I need to be still so I can easier connect with True 'Seyi, I hear my guidance better when Im still.

I realised yesterday that Im being fine tuned to my True 'Seyi. See my post on my NGS.

Today I thankfully realised that although I am physically ill, I can still get in my vortex and bask a little while. Until my self pity kicks in and gets me chucked out. 

It has been a much needed, gentle day today, after the baby-nephew-looking-after-sleep-deprivation-and-out-of-alignment-induced fainting episode I had the night before last. 

Today, rather than reading or trying to write my workshop material when its not time, I took it easy and covered the plain files I got from Homebargains with some pretty vintage floral paper. They are the basis for the new and improved filing system I am implementing for bank letters etc.

EVIDENCE
°Yesterday there was a quote on the Google site that said:
"Your idea might just change the world."
° I organically went into a Creative Workshop last night, and wrote about the beautiful workshops I am developing, and really felt the passion, and excitement I lost when I was trying to force them to happen before the right time. 
°Rebekah Shaman is holding a Cacao Ceremony on Feb 17th, which is about opening the Heart Chakra. When I received her email about it I thought id like to go and if I was meant to go id receive the money to pay for it soon. My mom came over today, and gave me the exact amount I need.
° My NGS is being fine tuned and I am becoming even closer aligned to my True 'Seyi because of this 30 day challenge. My True 'Seyi is kicking in on a very subtle level, the moment I become mis-aligned.
° I listened to a brilliant Abe session reminding me that I don't need to do the workshops to prove my self to anyone else. I am developing them because I want to help people. Not to say "oooh look at me. Look at how well Im doing. Validate me." which is something ego had kicked in with.

I will finish todays rather disjointed offering, with a quote from Marilyn Monroe, who I love. One of my sisters says that I remind her her. Obviously not looks-wise. We couldn't be much more different. She didn't explain why, she just said there was something about me that reminded her of Marilyn Monroe. I take it as a compliment.
Even though she was so devastatingly Codependent, which in the end is what took her life. Thinking about that reminds me of how blessed I was to find out about codependency and find ways to recover from it.

Marilyn was very self aware, and knew what she wanted. Her attraction was that she maintained her innocence. She was special, and she never knew just how much. That's what drew me to her, and probably what my sister means about me.

My journey of the last 4-5 years has been about finding out how special I am.

To me.

This quote I received as my daily message from Gabby Bernsteins Spirit Junkie group sums up the Abraham teachings I listened to today. It sums up my day. 

"Dreaming about being an actress, is more exciting then being one."
-Marilyn Monroe

Videos that resonanted today:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=--Y8zuu-V28&feature=related

http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=related&v=ypCzn5Wjz_o

http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=fvwrel&v=QLZuYUDHy9M

http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=related&v=VbRWWdLAFH0