Travelling to London on the morning of Rebekah Shaman's first Cacao Ceremony, my mind was being bombarded with doubts. I spent the beginning of the journey wondering if it would be worth my effort and time. My inner child atypically responding to the unknown with fear.
Cacao.
Chocolate.
People eat it all day, every day.
How exactly was it going to work on my heart chakra?
Rebekah Shaman spent "the last two weeks of her journey with a cacao shaman in Guatamala and learnt the amazing healing properties of cacao. According to the Mayans it was the food of the gods and a potent nectar. (She) believes cacao is the perfect medicine for the new Baktun, as it puts us in touch directly with the heart chakra in a unique, loving and magical way. It opens the doors to our souls so that we can explore our hidden depths without purging, leaving our bodies or visioning. (She) saw some powerful healing in Guatamala and felt called to offer the process in London."
The ego, desperately attempting to fertilize seeds of doubt, questioning, worrying, over-analyzing. Second guessing the guidance I had received to partake in the ceremony.
My inner child, Princess 'Seyi, responds to life and adventure with an obsessive need to control and know every last detail of what is going to happen, when, how, and why. She worries when I don't have the answers to every possible scenario. This catastrophe thinking is mostly triggered when doing something new. Particularly when it involves working on my emotional well-being.
Even though I had thoroughly read the extensive information about the healing properties of Cacao, that Rebekah had emailed to all participants, I couldn't quell the cynical thinking.
Thankfully I had truth on my side, and listening to Abraham for the hour and a half journey from Birmingham to London helped immensely, and I arrived feeling open minded and excited for what the day would hold.
I had purposely gotten an early train, so I would have time to ground myself before the ceremony. I appreciate the well mapped, accurate transport infrastructure in London, and made my way from Marylebone to Battersea Park with ease. Upon arrival at Battersea Park station, the friendly assistant on duty set me in the right direction for the park.
Just over 3 hours after leaving my house that morning,I found myself basking in the Sunday midday sun. The shimmering lake before me. A cup of hot water to hand.
Never having had cause to visit that part of London, I was pleased to find myself observing a cacophony of smiling, abundant-looking people, out for a stroll with dogs, kids, friends and partners.
Sights I would never have been able to connect with before I got into recovery. There was no way I could have sat alone on a park bench sober. I would have been either too stoned to experience the simple Joys around me. Or wishing I were stoned if I wasn't, and therefore not able to connect with what was going on. I could never have gone and sat on a bench on my own and happily watched the world pootle on by. I would have been consumed with a feeling of lack and emptiness.
This reminder of how awesome my life now is, was worth the price of my ticket to London, the ceremony hadn't even officially begun.
By the time my friend arrived at Rosary Gate, I was ready. My sensibility had been tickled by the ridiculous Moor Hen mating antics on the lake: chest-bumps galore. My inner child soothed, watching a little girl scootering around her dad and sister.
Using Google maps on my Samsung phone, we found what we thought was the building. Once there, however, we were unsure where to go next (I had forgotten Rebekah had laid a trail of balloons to show the way to the room). We must have been standing there looking slightly confused, because a man pointed out the balloon trail without us saying why we were there.
Rebekah approached me, greeting me with a big hug, and I immediately "recognized" her, never having seen her before. I knew I knew her on a spirit level.
Sharing the experience with my friend, and one-time lover, was interesting. Perfect given where Im at with relationship stuff. I felt I finally got closure on the relationship, and accepted him as nothing but a soul-mate-friend.
During the first meditation we did, after drinking the pure hot Cacao, I experienced massive healing of my Solar Plexus Chakra, therefore my heart. I read ages ago that one of the most effective ways to heal the Heart Chakra is to work on the surrounding Chakras. Perfect.
During the following meditation, when we were guided to ask the Cacao for guidance, I received what I had been feeling for a while, that I am meant to use the Cacao in my workshops. Particularly when working with young people and vulnerable adults.
Rebekah Shaman held the space of the Cacao Ceremony with love and presence. It was a joy to observe such an ego free allowing of everyone to share and contribute to the experience, what she calls a "Sharemony".
Afterwards, joined by one of the women from the ceremony, I went to the amazing Peace Pagoda in the park. It was awesome to stand beside the huge golden depictions of Buddhas life, and gently process that days experience with a new friend; breathing, laughing and talking deeply. A perfect ending to a perfect day.
I write this part a couple of weeks later:
Over the following weeks, the healing continued. I have become more accepting of my shadow side, and am not beating myself half as much as usual. This is something that is suggested as one of the outcomes of healing with Cacao. Something I knew I really needed.
There are moments when I can feel a warm circle around my heart, and others when my Solar Plexus heats up so much I can feel the warmth with my hand. Moments when it feels like my heart is so full of love it could explode.
I highly recommend attending a Cacao Sharemony with Rebekah Shaman. I am eager to go again soon.
Rock on Rebekah!
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