Julia Cameron is a major contributor to the direction my life has taken. Who knows where I would be without her.
In September 2008 I went to Wales with some friends to celebrate one of their birthday. One of the gifts she received was a book called the Artists Way, written by Julia Cameron. I didn't get a chance to look at it properly at the time, but I recall being extremely drawn to it, although Id never even heard of it before.
During the energy healing foundation course I did starting January 2009, I made some lovely friends, and mentioned the book in a conversation. That year, my birthday landed on a weekend when we would all be gathered for that months training session.
I had no expectation of receiving anything, although my new friends were so lovely and generous, and one of the gifts I received was the Artists Way. I was so happy.
The Artists Way is a 12 week programme devised by Julia Cameron to help people reconnect with their creativity. It has various tasks to be done over the duration of the programme, which I found fairly challenging at times. One of which was to take myself out on a date once a week.
After a few weeks, my Artists Dates became very precious to me. And would be random and varied in activity. I continued going on them for a long time (after completing the programme a couple of times through.)
I would try to listen to my inner guidance, telling me where to go and what to do on these "dates." And I would do my best to do it. When I listen to my guidance I have fun, or random experiences, but mostly fun.
One time I was in London visiting friends, and had a free day before meeting a friend in the evening to go to a five rhythms dance. I was guided to get off the tube at Whitehall and just walk. Which I did. And ended up at Brick Lane.
I went into some music studios and had lunch at a cafe with benches outside. It was hot and I looked good. I flirted a little with some dudes I was sharing the table with. It was fun. Random.
I haven't been on a random adventure or Artist Date for a long time. (Definitely a practice that needs to come back). This morning I got on the bus and asked for an N-bus daysaver, but the bus driver gave me a daytripper.
The daysaver lets you on any bus all day long, but the daytripper lets you on any bus and train, in the Midlands network, all day.
My mind went ding ding ding! Artist Date.
I was exhausted after a sleepless night, but was determined to take advantage of this opportunity. I had lunch, packed a flask and some snacks, and headed for the train station.
I stopped off at the Network information office to get a map of the Network I could use the ticket on, and a dude came in to purchase the same ticket as me. I thought: "oooh, I'll follow him and see where he goes." However, I got to the station barriers and lost my bottle. Instead I got on the first train I could use the ticket on.
It was a train to Rugeley Trent Valley. Which went via Walsall.
I stayed on to the last stop within the Network, which was Bloxwhich North, got off and with great anticipation went for a look around.
It was raining and freezing cold. There was nothing much to see, apart from a lot of big houses. i got to the top of the train bridge, and saw the BEST slide ever in the garden adjacent to the train station.
Not the greatest pics (still cant figure out how to get my pics right way up when I post them on here), but you can just about make out the huge out stretched arms of the tree slide, you come out of its mouth. I want one.
I walked down the road a bit, and got bored looking at nothing but big, detached houses. It looks like quite an affluent area, with big new build houses. Not to my taste, but I didn't go far thanks to the rain and cold.
While waiting for the train back to New Street Station, I listened to a few awesome Abraham sessions. One of which touched me deeply, and helped me understand the anxiety id been experiencing for a while.
In the session Abraham talked about following the fun to find out your life path and what career you're meant to be doing.
So for the next 30 days I am going to focus on the dance. I am going to look for the subtle magic in every day. I am going to continue developing the basic workshops, as well as thinking about more complex ones, that include dance.
And I am going to truly step into the dancing shoes of my True 'Seyi. The pain and anxiety I have been feeling is that I've been continuing to practice denying what I really want.
I don't have to do that anymore. I can follow my heart. I am ready to follow my passion. I am ready to follow my dreams. The heart-song of my inner child. Its not about the money, its about the heart. And my heart wants to DANCE.
That is what it means to make how I feel the most important thing to me.
That is where my happiness resides. In my heart.
Ever since having an initial meeting about developing codependency awareness workshops, I have been experiencing some resistance and discomfort. I felt anxious and agitated about something, I couldn't put my finger on what it was about.
I thought maybe Im not meant to go ahead with the workshops. Yet that didn't sit well in my heart.
As I listened to the session about being afraid to dream, and how important my childhood dreams still are. Then listening to the one about following your fun and passion to understand your what direction to take your career, something in my heart shifted.
When I got home from my random adventure, during my Just Dance session, I began to cry. My inner child broke through, and told me she is upset because I haven't acknowledged her desire to be a dancer in my Focus sessions, or even just daydreaming. That's what the anxiety and upset was all about. I wasn't listening to Princess 'Seyi.
As a child, I dreamed as big as I do now. One of my main dreams was always to be a dancer and performer. I didn't want to act. I have no acting skills. Im too honest and straight forward for that, but I loved performing. I relished every opportunity to get on stage, and be centre of attention.
More than that though, I loved pleasing people by sharing my talents with them. I was always a beautiful dancer.
Connecting with her at this juncture in my life journey, it seems that these dreams are still as real for me as they ever were.
one of the reasons I LOVE giving talks. I thrive with every opportunity to share my talents, I love seeing people enjoy what I do.
For a few days I have been recognising that the one of the reasons Im developing certain workshops is because I know I have a market, and I will make money delivering them.
Money isn't enough of a reason to do anything anymore. Another reason I want to do them is because I am flabbergasted by the lack of awareness on the subject of codependency, in many sectors. Particularly the addiction recovery sector. I want to help people become aware of it, so they can utilise the knowledge to help themselves and others.
Most people in the "caring" industry - teachers, nurses, doctors, counsellors, etc - will have codependent tendencies. In fact everyone does. But to what severity and how it affects your ability to be your true self is the key.
I feel passionate about helping people in pain, reconnect with themselves in fun and interesting ways.
That being said, the basic codependency awareness workshops won't have an opportunity to include dancing.
I want to dance. That is my joy. That is my fun. And that is what has been my hearts desire since as long as I can remember.
Jason Mraz is a beautiful artist, and has contributed to the specifics of my vortex man big time.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=relmfu&v=7xaBgcKofOY
