In You Can Heal Your Life, Louise L. Hay says that the probable cause for eczema is "breathtaking antagonism or mental eruptions."
The accompanying affirmation, from her Hay House bestseller is, "Harmony and peace, love and joy surround me and indwell me. I am safe and secure."
For a few days I had been noticeing a blockage in my energy, but couldn't figure out what it was. I knew I had been being very perfectionistic and hard on myself ever since starting this 30 day challenge. But didn't connect the two.
"Suddenly" I got really bad skin. My face was practically a mask of eczema, and I was mortified! Knowing what I do about how my thoughts affect everything, I focused on being gentle and loving with myself.
I also started doing a daily mirror process, of sitting in front of my mirror for 3 minutes and smiling. In my head I repeat "'Seyi you are so beautiful, I love you." continuously for the three minutes. On the first evening, I cried while doing it.
This is one of the first processes I did when I began searching for my happiness. It really helped with my self image and healed the chronic BDD I had suffered from, as part of my codependency all my life. I cried every time I did it to begin with. After a few weeks, looking at myself grew easier, less unbearable with practice. Eventually I began to see my beauty.
I'll write more on that another time.
Tuesday (day eighteen) I was guided very clearly around my day.
I met with the guy from the agency Im offering codependency awareness workshops to in the morning, which went well but triggered even more perfectionsm. After another meeting at half one, I was guided to go to TKMaxx, which was not on my to-do list for the day. I had been up until 3 the night before writing ideas for the workshops. I just wanted to go to bed.
But I went to TKMaxx, because I needed some face wash, even tho I haven't found any I like there recently. I listened, trusted and went. I love TKMaxx, they always have awesome organic natural toiletries.
After about 15 mins of searching through the toiletries I began feeling a disheartened, id found a nice set for my son, but not what I wanted. Just as I was about to get resentful toward my angels, I looked somewhere I hadn't before and found the most delicious olive oil L'Occitane face wash. Which is a very nice brand, one I've never seen in there before. I thanked my angels profusely and made my way to the till.
While waiting to pay, I saw a cute little bamboo face cloth. I love bamboo products, they are eco-friendly, and naturally anti- bacterial. I didn't think I had enough money for everything, but said a little prayer, and I had almost to the penny the amount I needed!
While I had been in TKMaxx, id been receiving guidance to go and see my sister. I was so tired, and all I wanted to do was go home and climb back into bed. But it was clear, and insistent, so I did as I was asked.
I left her house much later that day, eddified with cuddles and giggles with my nephew, and a huge tub of African Shea butter, that I promised to buy back, which will help my skin heal. This was even more evidence that the Universe was showing me where to go to get the help I had been asking for.
I have been using a constant mantra of reassurance that Im doing well, and everything is going to be ok, as well as slathering on the Shea butter at every opportunity. Today, just 2 days later, my skin is so much better. And more importantly, I am being much gentler on myself, and not pushing myself to achieve anything with regard to the workshops or this blog.
I felt that much of the love and validation I desired as a child was based on succeeding and achieving. That there was always an expectation that I should be able to do everything perfectly the first time I tried, and every time thereafter. This deep conditioning toward perfectionsm is something I am working on letting go of. It is soul destroying, and my inner child has gone into sabotage mode.
All I can do is soothe Princess 'Seyi, while I learn how to put less pressure on myself, and how to trust Im on the right track. Abraham really helps, as does the EFT I've been doing with Cathryn Taylor, and writing.
My happiness relies on combining the variety of ingredients I've collected, and picking out the right ones for each scenario that arises.
These Abraham videos helped me appreciate that I am actually exactly where Im meant to be, and I am doing really well.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=related&v=BPHdNU07hEo
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1LLexgn_s3g&feature=related
Inner child
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kVCSfJZK4_I&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DkVCSfJZK4_I
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