Today has been super tough! When I woke up, the first thing I thought created a huge block of resistance which I have been unable release. I don't know what I thought about, but it must have been pretty important.
I always know when Im resisting my alignment with Source, because my right nostril gets blocked up. I periodically go through a fine tuning of this system, which is challenging in itself. After the fine tuning, I incrementally more sensitive to ever slighter variances in my relationship to my vortex.
I often find the blockage very annoying, and get extremely frustrated with it and myself when I cant understand what the resistance is about. Acceptance is something Im working on. In many areas.
Sometimes Im resisting guidance, sometimes the thoughts Im thinking are out of line with what True 'Seyi would think about someone, something, or the situation at hand.
The blockage won't shift,It is frustrating the arse off me! I have wanted to scream, because I've been blocked up all day.
I have been confused about what Im meant to do, where Im meant to go.
I promised myself that during these 30 days I wouldn't do anything unless I clearly knew what I was being guided, but today, I thought several times I was being guided to do one thing, which changed, to the opposite. Which often happens, as other unseen components change.
But today. Boy oh boy. Its been tough. Its like I just cant hear/know what Im being asked to do, or what Im feeling about things.
Even though I was so blocked up, I was still able to recognise a few jewels (evidence that the Universe was on my side) today:
I found a fiver in my purse that id put aside for lunch today, and had forgotten about it. I hadn't needed it because I hadn't done what I thought I was going to do. I treated myself to some Delumptuous 'Bliss' incense sticks from my favourite shop, Love Light and Presence, and a Sunstone crystal. When I picked it up I knew the Sunstone felt right, but it wasn't until I read about its properties that I understood why id been drawn to it. I should have know, considering one of my ascended masters this lunar cycle is Apollo.
This awesome website gives fantastic detail on the properties of the Sunstone:
http://www.crystalvaults.com/pages/crystal_encyclopedia/sunstone.php
When I was out and about I saw loads of little white feathers. I felt my angels going ahead of me. Helping me. Even though I was struggling to hear them guiding me. On the way to my sisters house, I looked up into a car window, and there was a beautiful air conditioning circle with a dove on it. And I saw some real doves hanging with the pigeons while I was out shopping.
In the ACIM the dove represents the Holy Spirit.
So, although its been a tough day, and I've been hard on myself. Beating myself up because I cant hear my guidance. Fretting because I may have missed an opportunity to network this morning.
I will start again tomorrow. I can commit to being loving and gentle with myself from this moment on. I can try again in each moment. In each moment I am born again.
Something strange happened at about half three in the morning. I hadn't managed to shift the resistance, which had become more intense the more frustrated with it I became.
Even though I was exhausted, I had offered to have my delicious pudding of a nephew for the night. My sister looked more exhausted than me, and the boon is I get to give him back...
He awoke at about half three, so i went to fetch him from the spare room. I was halfway to my bedroom door, and the next thing I was lying on the floor holding my head in agony. I had fainted. I never faint.
I believe that I was SO out of alignment that I fainted. It was nuts. I lay there for a while giving thanks that I hadn't been carrying my nephew at the time, and once id settled him back to sleep, I Googled "Releasing Blockage."
Best thing I could have done.
I had previously been told about the spiritual/psychological practice called Focusing, but hadn't looked into it very much. I think the first site I came across when I Googled "Releasing Blockage" was a site about focusing. I don't know much about it still, apart from it seems like a very effective way to connect with what's going on in your body, and identify the emotions that are being blocked. And by a method of internal investigation, accept and release the blocks.
You have to do it with a partner. It is something I am going to look into further. Link to the website I found is below. There are some free resources and Sessions recorded. One of which I did, and found it helped a bit. Maybe this will help you too.
http://www.focusingresources.com/articles/releaseblocks.html
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